Dawn Ponnet

CAFE stands for Catholic Adult Formation Experience. Our RE Office strives to offer monthly opportunities for parents/guardians to gather together to deeper their knowledge of our faith and provide resources and tools for family spiritual development. This post covers the resources and discussion we had at our second Sunday morning CAFE of the year. The topic was: how to celebrate Lent with your family!

Creating a Prayer Space

We began the session by breaking the adults into table teams who were then instructed to use the materials provided to create a prayer space. Creating a prayer space in the home is a fun, engaging activity for children of all ages that can be changed and updated to follow the liturgical calendar. For example, at this CAFE we created a Lenten prayer space using purple cloth (swatches can be purchased for $1-2 at any fabric store), small palm trees, and cactus in addition to the general objects such as a Bible, crucifix, and prayer cards.  As we said in the meeting – your whole home is holy because your family (the domestic church) lives and works together there to become better disciples of Jesus. A prayer space is simply a focus point for your family faith. Changing out some special items as the year progresses is a fun way to help our children get to know the rhythms of the liturgical calendar. Here is a more detailed liturgical calendar given to us by the USCCB.

For basic instructions on how to create a prayer space in your home please click here Praying Together Handout

 Lenten Resources

As a community we shared what we already do at home. Many families engage in meatless Fridays and fasting. One family stated, and were affirmed by others in the community, that instead of using the language of “giving something up” they focused on “changing a bad habit. ” This family went on to say that if one of the purposes of Lent is to become better disciples of Jesus, then we must decide what we will fast from knowing that that fast should ideally become permanent and last beyond the Lenten season. For example, if we fast from arguing with our family members during Lent, we must continue to strive to build better relationships after Lent has ended.

We provided the families with this Celebrating Lent Handout, which provided some simple suggestions for family ways to live out the three things Jesus calls us to during Lent: prayer, fasting and alms giving. We encouraged our families to look for “twofer” opportunities; for example, if we choose to give up ice cream as a family (fasting) we would then donate the money we save by not buying ice cream to Catholic Relief Services, our local parish or another charitable organization (alms giving). The three tasks Jesus calls us too should not exist in a vacuum, separate from one another, but are rather all expressions of the same hope – to unite ourselves more closely to Christ and how he would have us live. Another example: we choose as a family to give up watching television one night a week (fasting), spend some of that time in prayer, and then give each other the gift of our time and talent by spending time together.

We also encouraged families to visit the Lenten resources page on our RE website.

Feast of the Annunciation

We also highlighted the Feast of the Annunciation on Tuesday March 25th. This feast remembers when Mary’s YES! to the angel Gabriel to carry and bring Jesus into the world. The same joy that Mary felt at bringing Jesus into the world is probably very similar to the joy your family felt knowing that a new member would soon be joining you. We noted that this is an excellent opportunity to spend time with family and remember the joy of pregnancy or adoption, look at family photos that commemorate births or adoptions, baptisms, first Eucharist celebrations, etc.

We also used this as an opportunity to teach our families about the Guardian Angel prayer.

Prayer Bump

As our closing prayer we taught each table group the “prayer bump.” This is a great community prayer activity that could be done at home during family prayer time. Here is how it works:

1. Stand in a circle and hold hands
2. One member of the family/group begins the prayer. This can be as simple as “Jesus, thank you for gathering us together as a family. Please listen to the prayers of our hearts.” That same person then has the option to EITHER prayer out loud OR pray silently to themselves.
3. When the first person is done, she/he squeezes the hand of the next person (can be either the person to the left or the right). That person then has the same choice to either pray out loud or silently. When she/he is done, she/he then squeezes the hand of the next person.
4. When the last person in the circle has said her/his prayers, that person then finishes the prayer by either leading the family in a traditional prayer, a prayer your family has created, or a simple “Amen.”

The “prayer bump” is a great way to encourage your children to be comfortable with praying out loud and spontaneously and to help build your family’s prayer life together.

CAFE stands for Catholic Adult Formation Experience. Our RE Office strives to offer monthly opportunities for parents/guardians to gather together to deeper their knowledge of our faith and provide resources and tools for family spiritual development. This post covers the resources and discussion we had at our first Sunday morning CAFE of the year. The topic was: how to communicate with our child about the Mass.

The adults who attended this CAFE began the morning by breaking into teams to answer questions about the Mass. We then moved into a teaching piece where the following topics were addressed:

• Faith as a second language. It’s important to realize that our religious tradition has its own language, rites and rituals. As Catholics we are called throughout our lives to familiarize ourselves with our faith language and pass that language onto our children. For example, what does the word Mass mean? Grace? Atonement? Eucharist? Why do we cross ourselves on forehead, lips and chest before hearing the Gospel? What does the Nicene Creed say? What is the Gospel story, “The Road to Emmaus” about? Our faith language is one of the building blocks of our faith life.

• Your experience of the Mass? Many of the adults in the room shared their positive feelings about the Mass – it is a peaceful, joyful, contemplative, meaningful experience.

• Your child’s experience of Mass? Many of the adults in the room shared that their children would describe the Mass as confusing, boring and long.

• We asked – if you could ask one question about the Mass, what would it be? The questions asked predominantly about why certain aspects of the Mass had changed from when we were children, such as the use of bells and incense. We shared that the core elements of the Mass – prayer, readings from Scripture or storytelling, Eucharist, collections for the community and those in need – have remained the same since the earliest Christians, even though we may express those components in slightly different ways throughout the centuries. Further, different cultures elevate different traditions surrounding the Mass (ex: the bells are rung three times to remind us of Peter’s betrayal) so what you were taught as a child may have been a cultural tradition more so than a Church-wide teaching.

Questions Your Children Ask

We then asked you to share with us questions your children have about the Mass. Questions included:

1) My child does not understand the readings that are read each week at Mass – what can I do to help her/him?

Our primary suggestion is to visit the Holy Family Bookstore and purchase a missal. A missal is a liturgical book to be used by laypeople (non-ordained persons) that includes all of the readings of the Mass for the liturgical year. Children’s missals are also available and recommended. You can even purchase a missal for your smartphone. Your child can then follow along with the readings being proclaimed at Mass, or your family can read the readings beforehand and discuss them. In the same way that you prepare before your child’s sporting event through practice, etc, your Mass experience will benefit from preparation.

2) My child does not understand why she/he is not able to receive the Eucharist (or “Jesus cracker” – this made us giggle) yet?

Children, like all people, love to be included, so it can be difficult for your child to understand why she/he is unable to receive the Eucharist until she/he has completed two years of sacramental preparation. One way to explain it to your child is to ask him/her about the various ways they prepare for other important celebrations in their lives such as birthdays, Christmas dinner with the family, etc. Important events take prior work and the Eucharist is the most important (the source and summit) part of our Christian life so it takes extra special preparation.

For your own knowledge, the Church teaches that children reach the “age of reason” around seven years old. This means that by this age children are able to discern the difference between right and wrong actions (and thus can participate in the sacrament of Reconciliation). This also means that children are able to understand more fully than they would at a younger age that while the bread and wine still look and taste like bread and wine, that they have transformed into the body and blood of our Lord. The preparation process takes two years because that is the minimum preparation time for our Archdiocese – in some parishes in Los Angeles children participate in three years of preparation prior to receiving the sacraments.

3) My child struggles with the violence of the crucifixion and I don’t know how to talk to her/him about it.

If your child is in first or second grade you must remember that, developmentally speaking, they are concrete thinkers. So it is not uncommon to hear questions like, “Well, who killed Jesus? What were their names? Why would they do that?” and want specific answers. As adults, we understand that the answers to those questions are complex and multifaceted. When speaking with children on this and other difficult subjects, our best advice is to draw from their current knowledge and experience. For example, we talk to children about sharing – that Jesus came to teach us how to live and one of the most important things we can do is share (if you have two coats, give one away, etc) but that there were people who didn’t want to share what they had. And there was arguing between the people who wanted to share and the people who didn’t. And the people who didn’t want to share were embarrassed and upset and thought the best way for them to not be embarrassed anymore about not sharing was to make the person who was calling them to share go away. And they made a horrible choice and decided the only way to make him go away was to kill him. This way of explaining it gives you the opportunity to talk about the unconditional mercy and forgiveness of our Lord, who forgave these people even on the cross. Remind your children that Jesus’ death, while deeply troubling, is not the end of the story. Emphasize the resurrection as a sign of hope and joy for all.

We cannot escape or wash over the violence of the crucifixion. Jesus died the way common criminals of his time were executed and it was an excruciating death. However, while children are curious at any age, it is important for us to shift their gaze from the violence of his death to the hope of the resurrection. Jesus’ death is an example of the great sin in the world and his resurrection shows us that such sin can be overcome. As your children grow and develop you can discuss with them in more detail the reasons surrounding Jesus’ death.

We closed our conversation by watching the video “Close Encounters with the Mass” – which is available on DVD & VHS in our RE library and can be loaned out to your family. It is a short video in which a child, confused about the Mass, receives a special visit from an angel, who draws the parallels between the Mass and special family celebrations.

Resources

These resources are drawn from the United States Council of Catholic Bishops website and were distributed as a handout to attendees. We invite you to click on the links below and read these resources, which will give you ample information to continue growing the faith language of your family!

• Celebrating the Lord’s Day – provides excellent ideas and suggestions on how to keep Sunday all day!
• Parts of the Mass – provides an explanation of what is taking place during each part of the Mass.
• Praying with Body, Mind and Voice – provides answers to why we stand, kneel, sit, sing, pray, etc. during the Mass.
• Liturgy and Life – provides suggestions on how to live out the Eucharist the other six days of the week!